Tyler’s inbox was getting full. It seemed the more he tried to delete or move emails, the fuller it got.
At one point, he had tried the Inbox Zero approach, where every morning he cleared out his Inbox. That lasted 36 hours. He just ran out of folders to put the emails in. A hoarder by nature, he couldn’t bear to let things go.
Then, as he bought something online, the company wanted him to sign up for their company news even though the product he had purchased was a one-off and never would buy from them again.
“Are you sure you want to unsubscribe? Here’s what you’re missing out on if you stay subscribed.
-News you can use
-Current company product information
-Real testimonies from great customers such as you
-World politics that could affect future purchases
-Price of tea in China and India
-Okay, just kidding about those last two, but you get the idea. IOW, you really don’t want to unsubscribe, do you?”
Yes, I Do. | No, You’re Right.
Yes, I Do. – CLICK.
“Now you made me feel bad.”
“You’re a dialog box,” Tyler said to the screen. “You don’t have feelings.”
“What ever will I do without your subscription?”
“Find others. Get a life,” Tyler said, “Who cares? Remember, you’re a dialog box.”
Click OK if you agree with me. | Click Cancel if you want to stay subscribed.
“Now you’re getting nasty.”
OK – CLICK.
“Thanks for agreeing with me on this topic. We’re in this battle together. Remember that. No unsubscribing ever again. Agree?”
Yes, I agree. | No, I don’t agree. Send me back to the endless loop.
“You’re kidding me.”
Yes, I agree. – CLICK.
“You are my BFF now. Thanks for agreeing to get the newsletter, great company product information, and your email entered into a drawing for a free newsletter to 20 of our other partner companies. You will not be disappointed, I promise you.”
“How are you going to promise me that?” Tyler asked. “Oh, that’s right. You’re a dialog box. Never mind.”
Tyler reached for the Off button on his PC and pressed it for five seconds to do a hard shutdown.
Sometimes life’s just better that way.