The Garbage Man’s Dilemma

It was only the garbage man talking.

“Excuse me, sir,” said Oscar the garbage truck driver. “Excuse me?”

The well-dressed man at the bus stop was on his cell phone and was turned away from Oscar, but stood at the back corner of the truck.

Oscar thought about tapping the man’s shoulder but realized he could get offended by being touched by a garbage man, so he spoke a little louder, “Sir? Sir?”

The man put the mouthpiece of the phone against his chest and turned toward Oscar. He said. “What? What is it?”

“I’m about ready to run the compactor. You might wanna step away from the truck. Design flaw in the compactor. Could get your nice suit all messed up.”

“Whatever,” the man said, turning away from Oscar and resuming his phone conversation.

“Okay, I warned ya, Buddy.”

Oscar pulled on the lever and the compactor went into action. Oscar’s previous stop was at the grocery store, and nearly a half ton of fruit and drinks filled the bottom of the truck, along with meats, vegetables, and normal residential waste. His job was to compact as much from the bottom of the truck into the upper storage area.

Juice squirted out of both rear corners of the truck, and the man on the phone jumped away after his navy pinstripes were covered in watermelon, grape, and grapefruit juices.

He snapped around and began yelling at the driver who was still operating the truck.

After Oscar was satisfied that enough of the debris had been compacted, he lifted the lever.

“Sorry, sir, did you say something?” asked Oscar.

“You’re gonna pay for this suit!”

“Uh, I don’t think so, sir. I warned you, but you ignored me. Blew me off even. See that camera on top of the truck? It saw everything and it has a pretty decent microphone. Have a, well, nice day. And I might say, sir, you look good in watermelon.”


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